


The Right Time

by bunnybi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Confession, Fluffy conversations, Kaltenecker's just a cow, Keith has nightmares, Krolia talks about Keith's father, M/M, Mutual Pining, Paladin Road Trip, Post-Season/Series 06, Pre-Season/Series 07, Supportive mom!Krolia, kosmo is a good boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 11:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17283437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnybi/pseuds/bunnybi
Summary: Written for the Nightmares section of the VLD Dreamscape Zine:With Lotor defeated, the Paladins' work is far from finished.  But the next step to securing their victory lies on a distant planet that rings home in the hearts of the five human pilots.Earth.The journey will be lengthy, but Keith is ready to hop back into the Black Lions' seat and lead the way.  Naturally, nothing is ever so simple.  An unsettling dream dredges up anxieties and unresolved feelings he wasn't sure he was ready to face.  Especially when two years away from his team leaves him less confident in his own social navigation among them.Luckily, Lance seems to barrel through Keith's walls without really having to try.





	The Right Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was my piece for the [VLD Dreamscape Zine](https://vlddreamscapezine.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> This was the first zine I've gotten to participate in, and I thoroughly enjoyed every step of it. Everyone was so wonderful and supportive, and I highly encourage y'all to check out their contributions as well! You can find their social media through the zine's tumblr - a lot of them have already uploaded their pieces, so be sure to send them lots of love! 
> 
> I got to work with the awesome and talented [tried2](http://tried2.tumblr.com/) as my artist partner from this project; I'll be sure to link the specific pieces when he posts them! I could gush for days about how sweet and adorable his art is, and the final pieces complimented my fic so beautifully I literally cried when I saw them. I couldn't recommend checking out his content more, he was so patient and hard-working, he deserves all the love y'all can throw at him.

End

Cascades of light stretch into shadowless nothing, blinding rays of red and white striking a wandering beast set on a pilgrimage for home.  Its cries go unheard by everything but its own essence. A spirit evacuates the wounded body, frantically seeking means to heal and mend. The trek must continue.  For its family, for the universe, every tick of delay is more than it can afford. 

Lifeless metal hangs in the space for an unstable moment before a second ethereal serpent strikes.  The body is snatched from reality by frozen fingers made of time, leaving its heart isolated; beating in five fearful voices vying for a shred of stability. 

Unity persists, a weak flicker against an empty trap.  The heart yearns for its body, the separation sending beats of confusion and helplessness through its core as it waits for a resource.  A solution.

_ Anything _ .  

Flashes of hunger spin the universe into chaotic dissonance.  Waves of unseeable threat seep into consciousness like needles into a bed of flesh, embedding into arteries and poisoning rationale.  Impossible visions pull at the heart’s sanity, playing on memories, desires, fears, anything to chip away at its security. The threat of losing critical pieces is too dire to allow rest.  It must stay awake. It must hold on. 

The turn is slow.  Aching. Hunger licks the outer walls, tasting each fracture as they branch to vital defenses.  Terror and bitterness bleed from the cracks. The heart no longer trusts itself, the clashing of red and blue creating a fissure that slams against the remaining foundation.  It cannot ignore the damage.

The last tendrils of light and hope scream in defiance, begging to be heard, but its voice is snuffed out as hunger loses its patience.  

When the final lure is cast, the heart is too feeble to resist response.  Questions are washed over by a tide of desperation as the weakened spirit bolts, claws unsheathed and scraping for its prize like a frenzied animal.  

The heart sees home.  Hunger sees prey.

And in a burst of gnashing jaws, the heart plummets into darkness.

There was no climactic stand.  No words of farewell. No thoughts spared on the body still floating somewhere independent of its only hope.

Its journey ends in a mess of blood and debris.  

And the gravesite is the only witness.

 

* * *

 

Keith jolts, eyes darting wildly.  Oxygen moves through him haggard and harsh before he can process that he  _ is _ , in fact, breathing.

Slowly, the familiarity of his surroundings envelop him with a warm touch of safety he’s still not especially used to.  A soft purr slips into his subconscious; Black’s promise that everything is okay. Keith isn’t sure why the sentiment embarrasses him a little, but he does his best to show his appreciation.

Keith sips another breath and tips his head against his seat.  He closes his eyes, the gentle glow of his control panel the only presence within his awareness, creating shadows against his lids that soothe his reeling mind.

He is home.  He is safe.

Voltron remains sturdy and united.  Krolia and Shiro sleep safely in the lower deck, and the other four Lions float along at his flank.

Everyone’s okay.  There’s no weird alien trying to eat them.

Keith cycles all of this through his mind over and over, but his heart continues to race.  And keeping his eyes closed is only making him feel worse.

He blinks, his gaze taking in Black’s view of the starscaped horizon ahead.  The vast stillness can usually comfort him in a weird, existential kind of way, but at the moment it still feels too connected to his nightmare to bring him any peace.

Keith hears a sigh, and he cranes his neck around the head of his chair to find his wolf wide awake and staring at him.  His chin rests on his paws, but his ears are perked and alert.

Keith smiles at him, and the wolf takes this as an invitation.  He springs to his feet and teleports to Keith - fogging the window of his helmet with awkward kisses.  Keith resists the urge to laugh as he eases the wolf back. Expression still adorably blank as always, the wolf settles on perching himself at Keith’s side and sets his head on his lap.

Keith’s fingers idly card into his fur.  His breathing eases into something more steady, and he grazes his nails behind the wolf’s ears as a silent ‘Thank you.’  The wolf responds with a tail wag, but otherwise remains motionless.

Though Keith feels marginally better, sharp pangs of anxiety still branch throughout his abdomen.  With his free hand, he opens the communication monitor. His fingers find the controls with practiced ease, and suddenly his screen is lit up with the Blue Lion’s interior.

Allura’s fast asleep at her console.  Years of stress and responsibility are much more prevalent on her features in this state.  She seems barely relaxed, her brows furrowed and her jaw clenched. Maybe she wasn’t having such a great time with her dreams either.

Keith bites back a smirk when he hears Coran’s snores echo through his helmet.  Good sleep or not, at least the two of them are safe.

Keith taps a button, and the screen changes to Pidge’s cockpit.  She’s deep in slumber, her lap completely occupied by a pile of sleeping space caterpillars.  She looks pensive, yet relaxed. 

Keith’s heart begins to slow.  Next he checks on Hunk, and he’s unsurprised to find the big guy looking the most at peace of everyone else.  He mumbles something in his sleep about burritos, and Keith is assured that he’s fine.

Finally, when Red’s interior pops onto his screen, Keith’s immediately hit with a sting of nostalgia.  She hasn’t changed at all. Lance must’ve been taking better care of her than Keith had originally anticipated.

Lance…

Since he’d been back, Keith hadn’t had much time to think about it.  He didn’t want to. It’d been a slow two years in the Quantum Abyss, and while at first he hadn’t felt too different, the longer he now spent with the rest of the Paladins, the more he was feeling some kind of…disconnect.  Which was odd, considering Keith had been the only one to age. The rest of his team was still exactly the same as they were when he’d said his goodbyes to ally with the Blades.

Maybe that was the problem.  Keith had changed more than he realized.  Lance certainly hadn’t hesitated to point it out - he’d been the only one to do so, actually.

Keith’s gaze lingers on Lance’s face, ever beautiful and untouched by time.  Aside from a few new creases and scars, freckles still traced Lance’s cheeks exactly the way Keith remembers.  Everything annoying about Lance slips away while he sleeps; his cockiness, his loud mouth, his unrelenting jabs…everything that sends Keith’s temper ablaze in less than a tick is tucked under Lance’s dreams.  Here, now, he was soft. He was gentle. He was--

“--the boy you have feelings for?”

Keith jerks so hard it sends his wolf tossing his head in alarm.  He quickly exits the communication screen before his wide eyes met Krolia’s curious ones.  At some point, she’d slipped into the cockpit and was now leaning against Keith’s chair, observing him in the most embarrassingly casual way. 

How did she get there without Keith noticing?

Keith clears his throat, resenting the heat rising in his cheeks.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Krolia tilts her head, “The flashes of time in the Quantum Abyss.  You seemed like you watched him often during your travels with Voltron.”

“It…wasn’t like that,” Keith hikes his shoulders, “I watched out for everyone, we’re a team…”

“Hm…” Krolia brings a finger under her chin, “I don’t recall seeing any ‘bonding moments’ between Hunk or Pidge you held as high in importance…”

Keith gapes a moment, willing the Black Lion to swallow him back into his consciousness, “S-stop remembering my memories!”

Krolia chuckles behind her fist, “Well, you gazed on him for quite some time just now.”  Her amusement holds out for a moment, but then her brows knit; her mouth forming a line Keith recognizes as a tell of hesitance.  She crosses her arms, her eyes not leaving the window, “It…reminded me of how I used to look at your father.”

Keith slowly nods, teeth pinching at his bottom lip.  Then, he lets out a slow breath, “It was…just a dumb crush I guess, I dunno…all we ever really did was fight…”

Krolia raises a brow, “Was he not the first to support you when you took over the Black Lion?”

Keith rests his head in his palm, “That was a long time ago.  He’s never looked at me like that anyway, and…I’ve grown out of him.”  He shrugs, “I think I just wasn’t used to a guy focusing so much on me like he had...even if it was annoying…”

Krolia hums thoughtfully, “So…you never told him?”

“Why would I have?” Keith sighs.  “He would’ve just…gotten weird about it.  The mission needed to be the priority.”

“Hm…” Krolia nods, reaching down to give the wolf an affectionate pat.  He perks up, quick to forgive her for the startle. 

Keith is silent for several ticks.  He’s still mulling over what he’d said, about how he’d “outgrown” Lance.  For the better part of a year, he’d trusted that to be true. There were just so many other things to worry about, and reconnecting with his mother had filled such a long-standing void, he thought he could finally be confident that he didn’t need anything else. 

But the second he’d seen Lance again…he was angry.  There was so much work to do; Lotor needed to be stopped, the universe was in the most danger it’d ever seen, and yet, Keith’s heart went straight into his throat the moment Lance approached him.

It pissed him off.  How dare Lance make him… _ feel _ things when they had a universe to save.

Keith wanted to believe it was just a fluke.  That  _ naturally _ seeing his team after so long in such a dire state was just scrambling his emotions.  

But…

“You know…” Krolia says.  “For a long time, I was certain your father had no interest in the way I was beginning to feel for him.”

Keith blinks, gaze sliding back to Krolia in disbelief, “...What?”

Krolia nods, “It already took me some time to come to terms with the emotions I had.  While it’s true the Blade of Marmora fights for a more…progressive future for the Galra, breeding outside of our own race isn’t something that’s often seen.”  A more wistful smile settles onto her features, “I thought it already far too strange my heart was pulling toward someone I’d never imagined feeling attraction for in my life.  I didn’t remotely suspect your father was experiencing a similar dilemma.”

“How…did you figure it out?” Keith asks.

“I didn’t,” Krolia shakes her head and chuckles.  “I simply let him know I was interested.”

Keith furrows his brows, “Just like that?”

“... _ Well _ ,” Krolia’s cheeks grow pink, which throws Keith off guard.  She clears her throat, “I may have…misunderstood human body language a bit.”

Keith snorts, “Yeah?”

Krolia crosses her arms and glares at the opposing wall, “Your father and I were watching a movie together one afternoon, and he’d received a call on his phone from an old general of his.  Shortly after he stood, a romantic scene began in the movie. The female character was trying to confess her feelings to the male character, and kissed him on the cheek when he wasn’t understanding…”  She shrugs, “I thought that was how you were supposed to do it…”

Keith groans, “Oh no…”

“Oh yes...” Krolia pinches the bridge of her nose.  “While he was still on the phone, in fact…”

“Man…” Keith shakes his head, a laugh finding its way out of him.  “I can only imagine how that went.”

“He was certainly…flustered,” Krolia admits.  “Actually, he reacted much like you did just a few moments ago when I asked about your blue friend.”  A slow smirk tugs at her lips, “That’s why I knew what you were thinking.”

Keith blanches.  He wants to bite through another denial - anything to redirect the conversation somewhere that  _ isn’t  _ his molten mess of emotions, but he’s becoming less confident in his own protests.  His expression falls. He feels his wolf nuzzle under his palm, but it doesn’t make him feel any less lost.

A hand on his shoulder has him looking back to Krolia.  There’s nothing judgmental or condemning in her eyes, her features simply shine with a gentle smile that exudes understanding. 

“Lotor is gone.  It will still be some time before we make it to Earth,” she gives his armor a soft squeeze, “Perhaps the timing is more favorable now. I don’t think it would hurt to ask, at least.”

Keith opens his mouth, then closes it.  Does she have a point? He knows in his gut that their days of fighting were far from over, but…they finally have a bit of downtime ahead of them.  As far as Keith can tell, Lance has his sights fairly hard set on Allura anyway, so he doesn’t have any expectations. But to finally have some closure…

Yes…closure.  Maybe that’s all he needs.  

Feeling lighter, he finds it in himself to smile, “Thanks, mom.”

A softness reaches the corners of Krolia’s eyes as she smiles, “Of course.”  She turns to retreat, but pauses, “Try to get some actual sleep, Keith. We’re gonna need you sharp.”

Keith nods, and Krolia regards him with one last smile before leaving the cockpit.  Keith lets himself deflate as soon as she’s gone. He knows there’s no way he was getting back to sleep after that nightmare he’d had.  

Or at least, he didn’t think so.

Between the soft, rhythmic sounds of breathing from the wolf in his lap, and the subtle whirring from the Black Lion’s machinery, Keith’s eyelids start feeling heavy again.  And much to his relief, he slips into something far more dreamless.

 

* * *

 

The team puts several days into their journey before the Lions’ need for a recharge becomes imperative.  They’re coasting through a particularly empty part of space, and finding so much as an asteroid to settle against nearly proves impossible.  But to their relief they manage to find a small, remote planet orbiting a distant star. 

The moment the Lions enter the atmosphere, Keith can’t help a small smile at the familiar way the planet’s gravity tugs at his controls.  It isn’t exactly like Earth, but the similarity is hard to ignore.

As the Lions finally touch the surface, a release of tension exudes from them like a deep exhale.  Keith grazes his fingers across his console, sending the Black Lion his thanks for his tenaciousness.  The trek hasn’t been easy on any of them, but it’s still made him feel closer to his Lion than he has in a long time.

Excitement buzzes into the comm system as the other Paladins step outside to stretch their legs.  Not only does this planet have breathable oxygen, but the plant life heavily resembles that found on Earth.  Hunk has already removed his boots to sink his feet into the grass.

Keith wasn’t wasting another tick.  He gives his wolf a rousing pat, and the two hurry to the Black Lion’s exit.  

The wolf takes off ahead of him, speeding down the ramp and into a nearby brush of woods.  Keith chuckles. A few years ago he might have been concerned about the wolf getting lost or hurt, but he’s seen what the space canine was capable of handling.  There shouldn’t be any harm in letting him have some fun. 

The comfortable atmosphere already has Keith loosening his muscles.  Once his helmet is tucked under his arm, Keith closes his eyes, letting the cool air brush against his skin.  The breaks for fresh oxygen were becoming fewer and further between, so he intends to enjoy this while he can.

A low sound catches his ear from a short distance away.  Keith blinks and cocks his head toward the Red Lion’s resting place.  Lance is leading Kaltenecker down the ramp - well… _ trying _ to.  Apparently she made it about halfway down before deciding she no longer wanted to move, and gives another low moan of defiance while Lance desperately pulls at her rope.

As amusing as the display was, Keith can only watch for so long as pity starts to win out.  He casually moves closer to the scene, offering a teasing smile when Lance catches his eye. 

“Need some help?” Keith asks.

Lance pauses in his fruitless pulling, panting and sweating.  His expression is sour, and Keith tenses. Lance is about to bite out something snarky, isn’t he?

But after a beat, he instead sighs, “Y’know what…yeah.”  His cheeks are slightly red, and Keith assumes it’s from the exertion.  “I had a handful of treats thinkin’ it’d be enough to get her the whole way, but…clearly not.”

Keith moves closer, joining the two on the ramp, “Do you have more on the ship?”

Lance nods, “Yeah, I keep them in the cockpit with me.  Kaltenecker figures out how to get to them anywhere else.”

Keith huffs, “Smart cow.”  He gives her a pat, “Alright, hang tight.  I’ll go get more.”

Lance shakes his head, “Oh don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”

Keith scales the rest of the ramp in a few brisk steps before crossing into Red’s interior.  His mind is instantly filled with a buzz of affection. She’s happy to see him, and it makes his heart swell.

“I’ve missed you too,” Keith says gently. 

Once Keith enters the cockpit, he easily navigates the familiar space.  The treats are tucked away in a drawer full of other miscellaneous trinkets and souvenirs; some Keith recognizes, others Lance must’ve picked up since he’d left.  Keith doesn’t think much else of it, but the moment the bag of treats is in his hand, something catches his eye.

A pair of his old gloves…?

Keith furrows his brows.  Did he accidentally leave these here?  He couldn’t recall ever actually using this drawer himself though.  He wasn’t one to keep belongings in his Lion, back then the Castle had more than sufficed.

He picks up the gloves with his free hand, noting every little frayed seam and spots of discoloration.  He used to wear these  _ all _ the time.  He probably could have stood to wash them more often, but they were still perfectly functional. 

Keith turns them over in his hands a few times.  Then, with a shrug, he sets them back in the drawer and closes it.  Maybe he’ll come get them if he gets the chance to wear normal clothes again.

As he returns to Lance, he tucks the bag of treats under his arm and opens it, taking one in hand.  It’s an odd shade of grey and suspiciously squishy, but he supposes Kaltenecker wouldn’t still be standing if it’s unsafe to eat.  

“Ugh, it’s about time!” Lance whines when Keith enters into view.  “Hope you and Red got nice and re-acquainted, ‘cause I was about to take a nap here with Kaltenecker!”  He sighs and his face falls, “No, seriously, she’s asleep now.”

Keith almost can’t tell because Kaltenecker is still standing exactly where she was, but as he gets closer, he notes that her head is slightly lowered and her eyes are closed.  

Keith shakes his head, “Wow, Lance.  I didn’t know you could bore a cow, but you found a way.”

“Um, excuse you!” Lance huffs.  “If she’s bored, it’s because  _ you _ took your sweet time!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Keith shoves the bag of treats into Lance’s arms.  He then turns to face Kaltenecker, giving her neck a light pat with one hand and holding a treat under her nose with the other.  Kaltenecker’s ears twitch. Her eyes slowly open and focus on the treat, and she emits a soft groan as she lazily takes it from Keith’s hand.

“There’s a good girl,” Keith says gently.  “C’mon now, the grass will be good for you, yeah?”

Kaltenecker takes a step forward, pushing her nose against Keith’s suit in search for more food.  Keith laughs, “Sorry, Lance has the bag.” He glances Lance’s way, but something about Lance’s expression gives him pause.  He’s looking at him...oddly.

“What?” Keith asks.

Lance blinks a few times.  His brows quickly furrow and there’s a touch of pink against his cheeks, “ _ What _ , what?”

Keith’s face sours, “You were staring at me weird.”

“N-no I wasn’t!” Lance squeaks. 

Keith sighs, “Whatever.  You gonna lead your cow off this ramp, or what?”

“Yes,  _ team leader, _ ” Lance grumbles, shoving his arm into the bag.

It’s still a considerable struggle, but the two Paladins manage to get Kaltenecker into a healthy patch of grass a few yards away from Red.  Despite all her fuss, she swishes her tail happily as she grazes on fresh vegetation. 

“Ugh, you’re such a brat,” Lance laments, but he hangs an arm around Kaltenecker’s neck and gives her a pat.

Keith chuckles, resting a hand on his hip, “So I guess it really is true that humans tend to mirror their pets.”

Lance’s jaw drops, “Are you calling me a brat?”

Keith shrugs, but he can’t keep the smirk off his face.  Lance scoffs, taking a few steps toward Keith and giving him a light shove, “Nice to see your attitude didn’t get lost behind the new muscles.”

Keith snorts, “And you’re still loud.”

Lance opens his mouth to retort, then closes it.  His jaw locks, and Keith swears he sees those ever-bright eyes darken.

Keith tenses.  Did he say something wrong?  

This can’t be less outside of his comfort zone, but he clears his throat, tilting his head to catch Lance’s eye, “Everything…alright?”

Lance’s shoulders hike a little.  He then sighs, heavy and dramatic, “I dunno, man.  It’s nothing, I guess…”

Lance turns to face Kaltenecker once again, his hand moving to stroke her shoulder.  Keith toys with the idea of leaving him be, but his gut is urging him otherwise. He sidles up next to Lance and tries another push, “You sure?”

Lance closes his eyes, an unsteady breath shrinking his frame.  When he opens them, his gaze wanders to the ground, “Look, it’s stupid, okay?  I just…I feel like I’ve been brushed off a lot lately. I know I can’t do all the cool science stuff like Hunk and Pidge, and maybe my instincts aren’t as sharp as Shiro’s, but…” his voice lowers so much Keith almost doesn’t catch it when he adds, “I’m not just ‘loud’...”

“You think I don’t know that?” Keith asks, hoping his tone is soft enough not to be taken as antagonizing.  “Lance, your instincts are some of the best of the team. You’re Voltron’s right hand for a reason. I trust you with my life.”  Keith feels his face heat up when Lance reels with a wide-eyed stare. Keith focuses on Kaltenecker to slow his heart rate, “I know I suck at…telling you that, and I’m sorry.  People aren’t really my strong suit…”

Lance huffs a small laugh, “I know…” he bumps his shoulder against Keith’s, “That means a lot though, man…Thank you.”

Keith nods, inching over to brush his arm against Lance’s once again.  He should be angry at the way his heart is hammering against his rib cage, and how badly he wants to feel Lance’s heat through his armor.  He should hate himself for how much he wants this to be a moment; a moment Lance was experiencing in equal distress and intensity. 

Keith feels like he wants a thousand things.  To hold Lance’s hand, to pull him into his chest, to feel his heartbeat moving in tandem with his own, and it should be driving him mad.  But something about Lance’s tiny smile, despite the sadness it was cloaking, is making him feel at ease.

He’s really screwed, isn’t he?

“...Hey,” Lance says under his breath.  When Keith looks his way, Lance’s eyes are glued to the mostly-empty treat bag in his hand as he thumbs the edge to open it.  “I’m glad you’re back with us. We… _ I _ missed you…” Lance’s face burns as he shoves his hand into the bag and pulls out a treat, “But if you tell anyone I said that, I’ll take it back  _ so _ fast.”

Keith doesn’t respond.  He can no longer hear his thoughts over the sound of his own heartbeat.  Even as he watches Kaltenecker take Lance’s entire hand into her mouth to get to the treat, listens to the way Lance shrieks in unguarded horror as he flails to reclaim his hand, sees his face morph into open disgust at the mess Kaltenecker leaves of his palm, Keith still…

He still…

Later on, he wouldn’t be able to recall how it happened.  Even now, he hasn’t the slightest idea how he’s gotten here.  But suddenly his eyes are closed and his lips are touching something impossibly soft.

Lance’s cheek.

And when this small, Earth-like planet all too sluggishly filters back into his awareness, Lance is frozen in a perfect image of bewilderment.  His eyes are wide and his lips are tight, his hand still hanging in the air in front of him as cow slobber snakes along his forearm.

And Keith is sorry.  He’s so, so sorry. He doesn’t know what came over him.  He’s kept himself disciplined for so many years and this was never how he wanted Lance to find out.

It was everything Keith wanted to say, but all he could manage was, “I have to go…”

And he does.  He turns his back on the saliva-logged Lance and bolts.  His legs make a beeline for his Lion and he’s quick to throw himself into the cockpit.  He dims his windows and disables all comms before falling into his seat and dropping his head into his hands.

Yes.  He’s  _ very _ screwed. 

* * *

 

By the time the team sets back into space, it’s a day and a half later, and the Lions take off with refreshed energy.  Keith spends the rest of their break in his cockpit, in spite of attempts from both Shiro and Krolia to find out what was wrong.  

Krolia infers closest to the truth, but Keith isn’t ready to talk.

The journey resumes with much of the same liveliness and banter, but it begins to taper off as the rest of the Paladins start to sense some awkwardness.  Lance and Keith have been concerningly quiet, and when pointed out, Lance laughs it off a little too loudly. Keith simply retreats into full avoidance mode, turning off his comm in favor of trying to take a nap.

He knows this isn’t gonna fix anything.  He knows any attempt to form Voltron right now could be compromised.  He knows this, but he can’t…he can’t deal with it right now.

Right now, he needs sleep.  Just a few hours, and he’ll smooth everything over.

Just a few hours, and it’ll be like nothing ever happened…

 

* * *

 

Sweat.  Tremors.  Tightness of chest.

He can’t breathe.

Keith’s eyelids snap open, and he’s frantic.  His surroundings are too calm, too  _ normal _ , and even though he’s lucid enough to conclude he’s only had another nightmare, he can’t calm down.

He can’t breathe.

Desperate, his fingers instinctively find the communication console.  He fumbles across the interface for a moment before finally finding the facecams for the other cockpits.  He lingers a little longer this time as he checks on each Paladin, not satisfied until he’s positive he’s seen their chests rise and fall as they take in generated oxygen.

But this time when he pulls up the Red Lion, his heart stops.  The pair of night blue eyes he hated himself for loving were open and starting directly at him.

“Uh…” Lance says, brows furrowed, “...Hi?”

“...Yeah,” Keith responds lamely.  “Sorry, uh…wrong button…”

Keith flicks off the screen and leans back, miserable groan ringing through his helmet as he stuffs his face into his hands.  He really hadn’t thought he could make this whole situation worse for himself, but he supposes this is what he gets for being socially useless.

At least he can catch his breath now…

“...Keith?”

Keith startles.  He opens his eyes, and Lance’s cockpit is lighting up his screen once again.  Everything in him wanted to close it out, to push Lance away in hopes they could just go back to fighting as normal.

But that wouldn’t be very Black Paladin of him.

Keith drinks in a slow inhale, holds it, then carefully lets it out.  His gaze hesitantly meets the Blue Paladin’s, “Lance…”

“Hey, man…” Lance says, his smile gentle and his eyes searching, “You okay?”

Keith nods, “Yeah, it was just a nightmare…” He slips off his helmet to rub at his eyes, “Just woke up in fight-or-flight, I guess…”

Lance gives a sympathetic hum, “Does that happen a lot?”

Keith bites his lip, discomfort with this entire conversation clenching every muscle in his body.  But there’s no underlying tone of mocking in Lance’s question, just simple concern. Keith forces a nod, “I can…usually handle it though.  I’ve gotten pretty used to it…”

Lance’s eyes soften, “How come you’ve never talked about it?”

Keith shrugs, “Eh, it’s not…a big deal.  Anyway, I’m sure I’m not the only one who deals with it.”

Lance’s jaw locks and he looks away, giving a slow nod.

Keith blinks, tilting his head, “You too?”

Lance rubs the back of his neck, “...Yeah.”  Lance sighs, his head meeting the headrest, “This one was bad, it…had to do with the Galra, and…my family…” He props his elbow onto the armrest and sets his cheek against his fist, “I dunno, maybe all this quiet is getting to me.  We haven’t had this much time to ourselves since before we left Earth…”

“Good point,” Keith agrees.  “I never thought I’d find silence stressful, but…” Keith relaxes a little, setting his gaze on Lance with a soft smile, “I know your family’s fine though.  They’re just eager to have you back.”

Lance meets Keith’s eyes, a sheen of gloss coating his own.  Still, he manages a smile, “Thanks…” He’s quiet for a beat, teeth weathering at his bottom lip as he seems to consider something.  Then, “So…should we, uh…should we talk about it?”

Keith doesn’t need to ask for clarification.  It’s been the elephant in the room since they’d left that small planet.  Keith sighs, “Do you really want to?”

“Not really…” Lance admits.  “But it’s gonna be weirder if we don’t, isn’t it?”

“...You’re right,” Keith makes himself a little smaller.  “I…owe you an apology anyway. I shouldn’t’ve just done something like that to you out of nowhere, that wasn’t fair to you…”  Keith swallows a lump in his throat, “I’m sorry, Lance…”

To Keith’s surprise, Lance shakes his head, “Don’t be…”  He clears his throat, “I mean yeah, it threw me off guard, but…” His cheeks light up, and his next words are nearly inaudible, “I kinda…liked it…”

Keith gapes.  A hundred questions flood his mind at once.  But, ungraceful as he was, at the moment all he could manage was, “...Oh.”

“...Yeah,” Lance mumbles.  “So, did…you not mean to...?”

“Y-yes!  Wait, no!” Keith huffs a miserable sound.  “I…I’ve been wanting to do that for a while, okay?”

Lance blinks, and Keith isn’t sure what he’s staring at, but he’s definitely avoiding eye contact, “Oh…”

Keith swallows, looking away as well, “Yeah…”

Lance fidgets, his expression less readable than usual, “How come you’ve never…?”

“Can you blame me?” Keith snaps, but he instantly regrets it.  He crosses his arms, “Sorry…We’ve just, been so busy, and Allura, and…we tolerated each other at best…”  He sinks into himself a little, “When it started changing for me, I knew I didn’t have a chance in Hell…it was easier to try to forget about it.”

Keith still can’t look at Lance, but he knows the Blue Paladin is tense, “But you never did?”

“...No,” Keith confirms.  “I never did.”

Keith braces himself for rejection.  That’s all that could come from this, right?  It’ll hurt, but he’s ready to finally throw this burden to the wind and move on with his life.

Lance leans forward, clasping his hands in his lap, “You know…I was never gonna tell you this, but after you left, I held on to a pair of your gloves…”  His eyes widen, “Not in a creepy way, okay! You left them in the lounge on top of the sofa, and I was… _ missing _ you…” The noise Lance makes is laced with pure humiliation, “Okay, y’know what, that doesn’t sound any better; I’ll give them back--”

“Lance,” Keith laughs, a complete involuntary reaction from his body as he reels from this new information.  “It’s okay. You can, um…hang on to them. I don’t mind.” Keith clears his throat, pointedly ignoring the heat in his cheeks, “So…you missed me.  But does that mean…?”

Lance hangs his head and groans, “Yeah…”

Keith’s expression pinches, “But, Allura…?  When did that change?”

“It didn’t, really…” Lance admits.  “I think part of me will always have strong feelings for her.  She’s amazing, y’know?  But…” He smiles fondly, “I like our relationship too much as it is.  It’s comfortable like this. She’s a lot of fun to be friends with, and…I don’t have to worry about being too much for her like this.”

“Lance…” Keith breathes.  “You’re not too much…”

“And…that’s why I started seeing you differently,” Lance huffs a soft chuckle.  “Yeah, you’re kind of a jerk sometimes, and we annoy each other, but…there’s never any walls, y’know?”  Lance’s eyes flick to Keith’s, gentle and sincere, “I don’t have to censor myself for you to accept me. And I think that’s why I…didn’t have much of a voice anymore after you left…”

Keith’s heart is beating so fast it nearly overwhelms him, but he doesn’t break eye contact, “Lance, I…”  His voice falters. This moment is so, so important, but why can’t he think of anything to say? He can’t afford to mess this up--

“I know,” Lance says.  “I mean…I know, now. For once, I’m glad you’re impulsive.”

Keith rolls his eyes, but the smile’s impossible to keep away, “Whatever.”  He contemplates his response, but then he sees Lance yawn. He chuckles, “Finally feeling tired again?”  Keith lets go of a little more tension in his shoulders, “We can continue this later.  You should try to get some sleep.”

Lance nods, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”  His expression shifts a little unsure, “We… _ are  _ continuing this though, right?”

“Yeah,” Keith grins.  “Promise.”

“You better, I’m not letting you upstage the master heartbreaker here,” Lance winks.  His features are soft, but the light of happiness is unmistakable as his gaze lingers on Keith for one last beat, “‘Night, team leader.”

“Night,” Keith waves lamely, his own face probably alight with shameless giddiness.

The screen disappears, and Keith has half a mind to slap himself to make sure he isn’t dreaming.  But seeing as his dreams are consistently shit lately, there’s no way his subconscious would give him a break like this.

Lance likes him.

A thought Keith had spent years convinced was impossible.

And Keith knows it won’t be easy, but nothing worth fighting for is.  He’ll deal with the hardships as they come, but right now…he’s gonna revel in the moment he finally gets to have.  He’s gonna send his wolf to spend the night at Lance’s side, to chase away the bad dreams and help him rest. He’s gonna thank his mother for every embarrassing trait she’s passed on to him.

Right now, he’s gonna let himself be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you were wondering, the Nightmare bit was a reference to the episode in s7 when they're stranded in space. That hadn't happened yet in the timing of this fic, and I wasn't trying to imply Keith has dream premonitions, but thinking about it now...wouldn't it be kinda cool if that was an after-effect of the Quantum Abyss? Little visions of time popping into Keith and Krolia's dreams every now and then?
> 
> If I could stop being lazy for two seconds, I'd so turn that into a fic.
> 
> Feel free to find me on [tumblr](https://bunibean.tumblr.com/)!


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